Some Lesbians and a Dream

Sunday night a co-worker asked me to fill for him on Tuesday night. This is lesbian night at the bar, complete with drag king show. Now I've been to the show before and always found it entertaining but I've never worked that night. If I work on Tuesday it's usually downstairs and it's almost always slow and painful.

The good thing about working upstairs is that you open late and close early. We opened up about 10:30 but the regular bartenders assured me we wouldn't get busy until showtime which is midnit-ish. By 11:45 we still weren't that full but I was prepared for the onslaught. It never was very busy and the show was very short. Let me say a few things about the show. First of all the names that these girls choose are hysterical. They used to have a performer whose name, I swear to god, was Quick Lick McGraw. After that was my favorite one ever, Buster Hymen. I still laugh at that one. Neither of those two were performing last night but Mr. Harvey Wallbanger was there and a few others that weren't that funny. One thing I don't understand about drag king shows is when they perform gangsta' rap. The most misognyistic type of music around, it's full of references to women as 'bitches' and 'ho'. I just don't understand why a group of women (or womyn) would want to celebrate music that seems to hate them. Of course I am alternately confused as to why drag queens want to do long slow tragic songs especially when they are clearly sung by a black woman but performed by pasty white girls. I digress.

The night was uneventful but I kept a few little notes to myself. Enjoy:

The number of times I refused service to people who were clearly stamped as underage: 2

The number of draft beers I served to lesbians (this one amazed me): Zero

The number of times I was asked by people "Are you new here?": Five

The number of times I was stiffed (read: not tipped): Seventeen

The number of times that the person who stiffed me was a middle eastern man: Ten

The number of Sad Looking Mohawk Sporting Cargo Shorts with an Oxford Shirt Wearing X-Heads Dancing Alone on an Otherwise Empty Dance Floor When Only Penny Loafers Would Have Made the Situation Worse Than the Harsh Reality: One

All in all the night was fine. I worked with someone whom I like very much and enjoy working with but we are not often scheduled together. The night was over by about 3:15 when we closed the upstairs. By then all the women had gone and the aforementioned mohawk boy was one of the only people left. I counted my money and headed for the door only to find a blinding rainstorm and skies full of lightning. I called a cab but wasn't holding out much hope of actually getting one to take me home. Luckily a co-worker who drives to work offered me a ride and I was safely home and asleep by 5 am.