The return of Captain Douchebag and the Fetus

Since I barely blog anymore it shouldn't be hard to remember my posts. For those who need reminding I wrote about the Douchebag and his Fetus not long ago.

So they are back. Douchebag (DB from now on) and his frau were at my bar the other night. DB ordered a half dozen drinks because clearly it's the only way he thinks anyone will endure his company. I suspect he's right but that's another story. The order is for several cocktails and four shots. I make the shots, set the drinks down and Frau Fetus points to one of the drinks and screams (I'm not being dramatic, he shrieked at me "OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT?" Now I was in the middle of a busy stretch and had about three drink orders in my head and so I said "It's a crown and coke, I'm sorry, is that not what you ordered" and I received an extremely haughty "No, I ordered a red bull and vodka!" I'm going to skip my obvious disdain for people who order their cocktails mixer first. My initial reaction was to grab Fetus by the sleek sleeveless shirt that covered his orphan waif thin chest and repeatedly slam his quickly balding head into the bar over and over and scream "EAT IT OR WEAR IT FUDGIE"! Instead I calmly said "Okay, let's all take a deep breath, starting with me. Now I will make you your drink and the heavens will have righted themselves". I think I'm growing as a person.