Okay, I'll admit it....

I Love Cher. There. I said it. Now it's probably not a big shock to some of you. A gay guy likes Cher, alert the media. I however, retain membership in the black clothes wearing gloomy, hang behind the shop class and smoke menthol cigarettes gang from high school. We dislike things only because other people like them. We rebel. All kidding aside, I have long disliked the idolatry of pop stars that is self imposed upon the gay community. I don't like Madonna. I really don't. Sure, she has some good songs and I will admit to loving Evita. Sue me. She's a great business woman but her talent is pretty minimal. Anyway, back to Cher. Yes she's been on her farewell tour for over three years now. She's even making a return visit to Louisiana. This time she's going to Bossier City which I believe is somewhere near Shreveport. We get it Cher, go away. Yes she's had so much plastic surgery that she bears a striking resemblance to Chris Owens who bears a striking resemblance to a space alien. Yes she had children not only with Sonny Bono but also Greg Allman and one of those children is the painfully horrid Chastity Bono. However. However. When I woke up today the movie "Mermaids" was on television. While it's not a great film I was reminded what a wonderful actress she really is, really amazing. I mean, what other actress could go from "Come back to the five and dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean," to the not so great "Witches of Eastwick." I think my personal favorite film of hers is "Tea with Mussolini." Maggie Smith, Judi Dench and Cher, how could you go wrong really. Okay, while I can't believe that I just spent this much time typing about Cher, I have to say this. When Mermaids went off the air, "Dick Tracy" came on. Illustrating my point, Madonna is a HORRIBLE actress.

On to other things. I am going to Indiana on Tuesday to visit my family. My father is recovering from his stroke but now the real fun begins. He is having speech therapy which is done in the Occupational Therapy department of the hospital. Where my mother works. Yes it's true. After being divorced for 21 years and managing to still hate each other after all this time, they get to see each other every few days. My mothers head is about to explode. My sister is also being worn down. She said to me on the phone yesterday that she knew one day she would be stuck holding the bag. As she put it, "The day I saw that moving van head south I knew this day would come." Good Times.

I saw the best thing on New Years Eve. A woman riding her bicycle down the street in a full evening gown and heels. Tiara and Boa included. She was delivering pizza. I hate when people say things like "only in New Orleans" but I think that one qualifies.

Retrospective

Today is a milestone for me and it's impossible for me not to be a little introspective. Today is the 5th anniversary of my move to New Orleans. I can't believe it's been that long and yet it seems like I've been here forever. My life in Indianapolis was good but I needed a change and so, like a carpetbagger I headed south. I still remember the morning I left, a snowy cold 6 A.M. with my best friend Richard at the wheel of my moving truck. It was just coming light and I think I cried half the way to Louisville. 17 hours later (after an extremely long delay in Nashville with a flat tire on the car hauler) we pulled up in front of my house on Pauger Street.

My truck was filled with hand me downs, a futon my friend Michael gave me, a bed from my friend Glenna, a cheap computer picked up at a sale at Richards work. My family had loaded me up with kitchen items that Christmas, dishes and glasses, pots and pans. I had never lived in an apartment by myself before. Today I woke up in my comfy new bed and sit in my nicely furnished living room typing on my (well, now three year old) computer.

When I moved to New Orleans, I didn't know anybody. Well that's not true exactly. During previous visits I had made nice with a bartender from Lafittes so I knew his name. Other than that I was on my own. Richard stayed with me for a few days which led to the first altercation I ever had at the pub (Shaky John vs. Richard, the purse: a pack of cigarettes and lighter.) I met Dallas the second day here and we ended up dating for a few months. We're still friends, in fact I just saw him yesterday. Richard left I and was alone. Really Alone....

I already had a job, fortunately very short term, at the now closed Royal Cafe. It sucked. It was the worst run restaurant I have ever seen. I had made friends with another bartender at Lafittes, Rich, and he convinced me to come work there. Then my personal crime wave began, I was robbed, my car was stolen (twice) and I became less enchanted with the city. Working at Lafittes was fun (at least it was then) but the city was wearing me down. It was my habit when I got off work to go down to the pub, and through that I met the night crew, Mark and Blake and David. I decided to go back to Indy for the summer (which turned out to be only five weeks) and wanted to get a job working at the pub for decadence. I figured after that I would get a different waiting job somewhere. That was 4 1/2 years ago and I'm still at the pub.

Most of the time I'm thankful to have such a good job, mostly. At the pub I was reunited with my long lost evil twin sister, Emily. I've had such fun there, with customers all over the country (and a certain someone from Sweden, swoon!) that come to visit and I am always surprised when they remember me. I'm more surprised when I remember them, but that's another story. From the little boy (okay, I'm going for a moment, I realize I'm not a boy) that didn't know anyone to being one of the most popular bartenders in the most popular bar is really something for me and I'll give myself a little pat on the back.

(I have to take a break here and play with my two bestial puppies.)

All in all it's been a good five years. I've met some of the best friends I have ever had, even if several of them are abandoning me lately or shortly. I've been more sick than I ever thought one person could be (with Hepatitis, Dec. 01.) I've fallen in love (more than once) and god knows I've had a couple drinks with friends. I wonder what the next five years will bring.