All I want for Christmas and Hanukkah and Kwanza and my Birthday...

All I want for Christmas and Hanukkah and Kwanza and my Birthday is for it to be true that Larry Flynt really does have information indicting Senator Trent Lott in a gay sex scandal. Please please please please please please let it be true. It is enough that Lott is resigning but to go out in the wake of a gay sex scandal would make me happier than winning the lottery.

Not since the death of Cardinal O'Connor from anal cancer (Okay so he died of a brain tumor but since his head was permanently stuck up his ass I consider it anal cancer) have I been so happy about the demise of a political figure. The loss of Rick Santorum was close. His daughters tears on national television were nearly enough to cause wet dreams.