Queen Elizabeth is really nervous right about now.

With the passing of Pope John Paul II and now Prince Rainier, Queen Elizabeth has got to be really nervous. They say threes, but add the deaths of Terri Schiavo and Johnnie Cochran and we've got four. Do you count Terri? Considering she was famous only because she was dying she might not be included in the celebrity status.

A friend of mine from rural Mississippi called me up and left this message on my machine. Keep in mind that we have a very odd relationship in general. We met because he did a fantastic imitation of Jon Benet Ramsey and I was the only one who truly appreciated it's humor. He calls me Mama Patsy and I call him Jon Benet. Anyway, he calls me up and says, "Oh momma, I made a fool of myself last night...I was up in the bar and I told the bartender ' give me a Terri Schiavo ' and he said 'What's in it?' and I said 'Well I don't know, but it sure does linger'."

Priceless.

On to other topics. I have been very silent about the Pope. My silence can no longer continue...I must ask this question. Why can they not put him in a casket? This looks like a white trash funeral, they took down the closet door, tossed a sheet on there and propped him up. They didn't even embalm him. The only thing I could think while watching this whole thing on television was "Clearly Nancy Reagan did not plan this funeral."

The Pope is being hailed as this great man and I will give credit where it is due. The Pope is in a large way responsible for the fall of communism. Not Ronald Reagan. The Pope urged the Polish people to rise against their government, their oppression. This was the beginning of the end for the Soviet Blok. What the Pope didn't do was shut his mouth when it came to the use of condoms. The fall of communism and the plight of AIDS in Africa can both be traced to the Popes doorstep. Not that other people didn't have a hand in this, but when you're the leader, you take the fall and the glory.

Prince Rainier is off to meet Grace Kelly now. All I could think when they made the announcement last night was that old joke; "Do you know what Grace Kelly had that Natalie Wood could have used? A good Stroke."