Just a good old boys....Never opened a door.

As a child I loved the television show Dukes of Hazzard. I'm sure that I was supposed to be turned on by Daisy Duke, but the sight of Bo and Luke Duke sliding across the hood of the General Lee was enough to make me swoon...Okay so it didn't make me swoon, it was more like an unexplained attraction but that's not the point. The point is that now they have made a movie version with that grand dame of stupidity, Jessica Simpson, as Daisy Duke. In accordance with the tie-in promotion, Jessica recorded a song and video for the movie, for some reason they used "These boots are made for walking." The video shows the General Lee zooming in and sliding to a stop...The door opens and Jessica gets out...WAIT! THE DOOR OPENS???? The Door Opens? When did the doors to the General Lee open? They were welded shut, the boys had to climb in and out, taunting the audience with those oh-so-tight jeans. I suppose they had to let Jessica use the doors, there's no way she could climb that ass in and out of a welded shut door. I know some might say I'm being picky or that I just don't like Jessica and both thoughts would be right. Artistic license being what it is, I shouldn't pick on her big ass...So I'll pick on how stupid she looks during the video when she's walking through the Boars Nest with a tray of beers...Which are obviously GLUED onto the tray. Some Hollywood actors wait tables and other such jobs until they make it big...Since it seems obvious Jessica didn't do that, one can only wonder what she did to support herself in the early years.

On the same note, the pub has been playing a video of a USO show done in Germany. Nick Lachey and his bride joined Willie Nelson and the country duo Big & Rich for a send off to the troops. Germany is a point of return as well as origin, so there were troops coming and going in attendance in the show. They must have made the soldiers who were maimed, paralyzed and bruised stay in the back because all you saw were bright eyed happy young people, thrilled to be seeing such talent. Talent, yes I said talent. If I were an American soldier preparing to risk my life fighting a war no-one believes in anymore and the best the US could come up with for a fricking USO tour is Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson I would shoot myself in the foot, paint my toenails pink and begin affecting a serious lisp. In other words, I wouldn't go...Not after that send off...Dig up Bob Hopes corpse and set him in a chair, I would be more entertained.