Ladies and Gentlemen! Step Right Up!

See the freaks! 10cents a person! Step Right Up!

I am telling you, P.T. Barnum himself could not have gathered as many freaks as are roaming the streets of New Orleans this summer. I have a theory that they are all always here but there is usually enough of a buffer with the other people that you don't notice them as much. Scale away the tourists, students and the locals who are saving money for decadence and we're left with a very visible community of freaks. Let's go over a few examples over the last few days:

Monday night at Bianca's Comedy/Variety Show; A local drag queen takes the stage in her non ending (and never winning) quest to snare the $50 dollar prize. She often does the same number or maybe it just always sounds the same because she always looks the same and that look is tired. A friend of mine made a comment about her needing new material which was overheard by two of the queens friends. They proceed to turn around and in all their "ghetto fabulous attitude" tell him off before wandering upstairs. A few minutes later they return with the drag queen to repeat the telling off...But at least the queen leaned in and spoke quietly. The show ended (and drumroll please, the queen didn't win, again) and we all leave to go over to the Pub. On the street outside my friend is again confronted by the 2 karat cubic zirconia earring wearing would be fhug (faggot thug) who tries to get my friend to "throw the first punch." Eventually they wandered off to harass someone else. The drag queen friend whose reputation they were so anxious to protect, well she jumped into the first vehicle that stopped (only to be dropped off again 20 minutes later...hmmm...I wonder where she went and how much she earned...)

Later that night another drag queen (this one looking much rougher than the last one) suddenly interrupted the entire bar by screaming about how she couldn't get the cigarette machine to work. I think her pack of Kools was stuck in the machinery. She continued to scream (most at Matt the bartender) all the way out the door...

This brings me to last night. I was at work and one of the first people to catch my eye was an older woman in a half shirt. I thought she was a lesbian since her companion was only missing a draft beer to complete the full Dyke mode. It turns out I was wrong since the woman began trying to make out with every man in sight. Eventually she landed a drunken 25 year old boy (and when I tell you this woman looked 55 if she was a day) and they began making out. I don't know which part was more disgusting, her fingering her own twat or the boy licking his fingers and putting them down her pants to finger her twat...Probably the latter. Anyway, I was fed up with the woman when she lounged her skank ass across three stools. I asked her nicely to put her feet down but when she didn't I came over and removed the one she was resting her cowboy boot-laden feet on and said "this isn't your living room." I would have thought that would have been obvious from the lack of wood paneling on the walls. While she wasn't getting the idea that wanted her out, her rather butch friend did get the hint and took her away. I later found out the woman lives in Slidell, is recently divorced and is only 45. Seriously, I wish I had a picture to put on here of how haggard and horrible this woman looked. The 25 year old boy went with her and I can only imagine that scene this morning. I should have watched the news to see if there were any stories about naked 25 year old tourist seen fleeing a trailer park with one bloody arm chewed off rather than wake up Grandma Moses. At least he won't have to fish through the sheets to help her look for her dentures. I wanted to take a picture of the two of them together and mail it to the boys mother (who was probably younger than this woman). She could have put it in her sons baby book under the title "Baby's First Hooker."

That's all on the freak patrol...I'll keep you updated as they appear.

BTW...I went to see "Skeleton Key" this morning. I really enjoyed it, it's very Louisiana/New Orleans like in it's references to voodoo and the location shooting. Kate Hudson is decent in the movie, Gena Rowlands is great. The story line is good though I had guessed the surprise ending. Go see it, it's fun.