YankeeNexile....in exile...

I am really frustrated. Since a week or so after the hurricane I have been in Indiana pending a decision to return to New Orleans. After my visit a few weeks back I had pretty much decided that New Orleans wasn't safe to return to yet, nor was there enough work to employ myself. Those in charge of the pub....Yes I'm taking a deep breath there....Told me that it wasn't a good idea for me to come back if I were somewhere that I could maintain myself for a little while longer. I even asked them if the end of the year would be a good time to return and they (the person to whom I spoke who seems to be in charge) agreed that would be a good time frame. The fact is that nobody really knows when things will be back to "normal" in New Orleans and everybody is flying by the seat of their pants so to speak. Jeff, my roommate, has returned as well as my friend (and oft commenter to my blog) Michael. I haven't talked to Michael since his re-establishment but Jeff paints a picture of perfect bliss, everyone floating on clouds with heels dug in to rebuild the city, all with a stiff upper lip and tara like pride. My visit was not so convincing. Most of the people who were there when I was there were the ones you hoped had evacuated with no way back and that was just the employees of the pub. Okay I am just kidding on that one...Mostly, but the caliber of the residents I saw a few weeks ago was what you might find as wash outs of a methadone clinic.

ANYway...So I decided that I would put my return off for a little while and tentatively made plans to return on Jan. 2nd. That would give me time to spend the holidays with my family (something I had planned to do this year anyway) and have a nice New Years party with my old roommates before symbolically returning on the 2nd which would be my six year anniversary of living in New Orleans. Then I find out that my boss has called several people and asked them when they plan to return. I have received no such call. Now, does inconsistency surprise me? Not really. The pub has been very generous to us in some ways, they have kept up the payments on our insurance (though now tell us it will be due in one lump sum or they will cancel it on us) and set up a little website for the dis-bersment of information. It seems though that the floodwaters did not wash away the system by which they treat their employees; seemingly we are unwanted, unneeded and unloved. Or maybe it's just me.

I have some travel plans coming up, I am going to Houston to visit with Jon and Paul, two co-workers who have relocated there. That will make me happy.

My time in Indiana has been mostly a happy time. I have been able to reconnect with old friends and spend time with them as well as spending tons of time with my mother and sister. I go out twice, maybe three times a week, I don't drink nearly as much. I've even gone on a date with the same boy two times. I miss my friends in New Orleans, most of whom are gone gone gone and aren't coming back. I miss my dogs who are still living in Jackson with their grandparents but are due to come back to the city very soon. I miss my house and my bed and my terribly unkempt backyard. I miss my roommate even though he drives me insane about half of the time. He told me today that he painted our bathroom...Orange. I will reserve judgment until I see it in person. I miss Bianca but I'll have to go on missing her since she isn't coming back. I miss my co-workers and most of the ones I miss the most are gone now too. What's left is, well...I'll just say they are what's left and not comment further.

I have given though to not returning to New Orleans at all or to returning for a short time and then coming back to Indiana. I have lots of support for returning here and it's not a decision that has been made. There are a lot of people in New Orleans (my bosses aside) who are looking forward to my returning. Others may fear it but they aren't really part of this equation. In the constant mental tally between the two cities is the fact that Indy is Indy, nothing more and nothing less. There aren't tons of new tourists all the time to meet and entertain and there certainly isn't the bawdiness of New Orleans to be found here. It's also very cold for a very long time every year. Indy also isn't full of the transient lifestyle of drunks and drugs that New Orleans seems to embody. Like I said, it's not a decision that will be made today or tomorrow but one that weighs constantly on my mind.

Ciao for now my constant readers and I apologize for such lapses in my writing.