An all time low in a lifetime of theatre going....

A mis-leading title perhaps, but I can't pass up using a movie quote from "Six Degrees". The last few months have been a cavalcade of theatre shows, and me, row E center. I do enjoy theatre and over the years have seen a lot of shows. When I was first moving to New Orleans I noticed that Le Petit was doing "Falsettos" which I had never seen. I was in town looking for an apartment and a job before re-locating. Before I left to go home and spend the holidays with my family and then move south, I bought tickets to that show. Occasionally after that I would see something that caught my eye, but then I met Jeff. Jeff the now roommate-former boyfriend Loyola educated musician. Jeff is a piano player and before we met he had done musical direction of shows but had burned out on it and taken other musical jobs. In the last year or so he has returned to this former career and has been go go go ever since. It's because of him and the others that I know who are local actors that I have seen so many shows of late...but let's talk about them one at a time...

Oh Coward! was back in May, a life and legacy of Noel Coward. It starred Ricky Graham, Lara Grice and Sean Patterson. It's a nice little show, the lyrics quick and sharp, the acting superb. Ricky Graham is genius, a timing that is impeccable and a dry sardonic edge that suits me just fine. I had heard of him for a long time before ever seeing him perform and have had the pleasure of seeing him many times since in various shows. Jeff's musical direction (and trust me when I tell you of the hours he spends hunched over the computer working on his Finale program) was wonderful..The music for the show was difficult, fast changing, but he managed it quite nicely without any flaw.

Next up was the beginning of the Tulane Summer Lyric series. Candide was the first show and one in which Jeff appeared onstage as a member of the chorus. I had never seen the show before and it's a strange experience, brought stranger by the costuming and sometimes silliness of the music. Ricky Graham starred in this one too, as Voltaire and absolutely stole the show. I wish I could remember all the cast but I seem to have mis-placed my playbill. Remember this name though; Simon Pfiel. It comes in handy later.

Second up for Summer Lyrics season was West Side Story. Now I really didn't understand why they chose to do this show. It's over-done by every high school and bake-sale-money-for the-rectory-half-brained-church theatre group. Seriously and once you've seen it done once, you've seen it done every time. Some of the performers were great and once again, mis-placed playbills prevent me from mentioning too many names. Joseph Aiken played Tony, the peace keeping "I've grown out of this gang phase" Jet. He has a wonderful voice but I think dancing isn't his strong point. In a show full of leaping cracko-jacko dancing boys he stuck out like a sore, swollen thumb but his voice was great. The young lady who played Maria also had a beautiful voice but when she spoke I swear she picked up her Puerto Rican accent from an eastern bloc country. It was very heavy, more Prague than Puerto Rico, more Slovakia than San Juan. The highlight of the show for me was Chase Kamata, who played Anita. Not only does she have a great voice but she's a wonderful comic and a great dancer. Now I have to say something else about this show in particular but any "dancing" show. Perhaps I am being too critical, but the "vaseline on the teeth" smiles on the dancing boys was just too much, not to mention that they all looked more queer than a pig at a Passover sader. I mean really, you're supposed to be gang members, not trying out for the male lead at Disney. It's the middle of a fight scene which has to be difficult choreography, so why the shit-eating grin? I was delighted in the midst of all this to see Simon Pfiel again playing a jet named Arab. I'll get to why this is important later.

Meanwhile, back in the French Quarter, Le Petit was staging "Pageant." I knew it was coming up and had been excited about it for a while. Pageant is a beauty contest and all her contestants are boys in drag. I was thrilled to see the show because I know practically the entire (albeit small) cast. Roy Haylock, (Miss Industrial NorthEast) a.k.a Bianca Del Rio along with her boyfriend/partner/co-hort Matthew Ragas (Miss Deep South) and Patrick Mendelson (Miss TEXAS!) all star with Ricky Graham (Frankie Cavalier) along with Jesse Quigley (Miss West Coast) and Bryan Wagar (Miss Bible Belt). I have seen this show twice actually and hope to see it once again before they close. It's been held over twice now and hopefully will continue a few more weeks so everyone reading this can go see the show as well. It is an absolute RIOT. By the end of the show (which is different depending on the judges vote) you aren't sure who to watch, the winner, the losers, last years winner (a surprise appearance) or Frankie the M.C. I have to say that Matthew Ragas is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful in this show. His accent stayed with me for a full day, a deep south Valdosta accent. It's fun watching Ricky and Roy battle it out (a comment that got me in trouble with Roy) for center stage and attention but it's a fun fight to watch. Patrick as Miss Texas is superb, his talent act exceeded only by his gracious loss the two times I saw the show. If you get the chance to see this show with this cast then by all means do catch it, you won't be sorry. Regretfully Simon Pfiel was not in this show.

Last but not least was Wonderful Town, the third in the Tulane summer lyric series. I had never seen this show before but was looking forward to great lyrics written by Comden and Green. This show is based on a play called "My Sister Eileen" and there was a film version at some point. Elizabeth Argus and Lisa Anzelmo were the two leads and both were fantastic. My favorite song was easily "One Hundred Ways to Lose a Man." Great song. Simon Pfiel was in the cast again, I was so surprised and enthralled....Let me first say that I do not know Mr. Pfiel, we've never met or anything...I just saw him for the first time in Candide and was smitten by him. I think he's quite beautiful...I wish I had a photo of him to put up here....And when I saw him in West Side Story it was so obvious that they had to paint sideburns on him...awww...So it's nothing too involved...just my standard swooning for a cute boy...

So that's the theatre update....Stay tuned for tales of "Oh What A Drag," the pubs turn-about show this Monday. Me in drag, again...Ciao Baby!

damn damn damn

Okay so I was wrapping up a very very detailed post when my fucking computer froze up whilst I was also attempting to look at a xanga site a friend sent me to see if I knew the person (Thanks Sheldon!). I hate xanga and now I hate the boy whose site froze my computer. I plan to beat the living shit out of him when I see him next. I only know his face and he doesn't know me at all so it should be easy to surprise him as I pounce on him and begin screeching "fucking stupid madonna song you had to have on your fucking site you stupid little faggot"

Okay, I think I am better now.....

Instead of repeating the entire thing I am going to give you cliff notes. If they don't make sense, e-mail me and I will give you the web site that shut me down and you can either have your own PC go on lockdown like Betty Broderick on the Anniversary of Dan's death or you can write to the little queen who caused MY fury.

New York, Part Two

Sunday. Took wrong subway to David's house. Ended up in Harlam. Got settled in at David's house. Went to Central Park. Puerto Rican Day. Thousands of PR's. This is not West Side Story and I am not Maria. I feel very white. Can't get to Balto statue; police have everything blocked off. I remember 2000 PR day when scores of women were assaulted. End up on Central Park South, walk back to West 96th street. See protest at building by animal rights protesters. Man who lives in building owns lab they are protesting. Watch "Latter days" with George, David's friend. Go out to dinner with Carter who cut business trip to Berlin short to see me while I was in town. Drank wine at his house, had dinner. Haven't seen him in sooo long it was great to see him again. I was nervous, we have a crush on each other. Things go well. We finish the bottle of wine, kiss some and then I leave. Go to Cabana bar at the Maritime hotel, have drinks with George and Chris (another friend from NO who is visiting David). Cab home. Sleep soundly.

Monday. David gets us tickets to MOMA. Chris doesn't like art. We start at 6th floor and see amazing art. I am annoyed by woman who keeps getting in my way. More amazing art. Cezanne, Monet, Picasso, Chagall, Kandinsky....amazing. Go to Gay and Lesbian Center in the village. Meet up with Stephen (Old friend I haven't seen in years) at Shag. Went to Duplex, drank, smoked, cruised. Stephen left, David and Chris and I went to Pink Teacup to eat. Went back to Barracuda where we unfortunately saw Spike the dancer. I flirted with friend of Davids, went to sit with him while he ate. Cabbed home.

Tuesday. Went to Central Park, found Balto, took pictures. Went to South American restaurant with David to grab late lunch, went to Laguardia and flew home.

The end of NY. Sorry I wasn't able to put up details. View some pictures of my trip.

Holy Mother of God....My Dreams Have Come True....

I just saw the ad on Lifetime....They are going to air "Golden Palace" starting August 1st.

I Cannot Wait...I must get the Cox DVR and record all 24 episodes.

As Promised...

Hurricane Dennis was supposed to be a huge storm that took a chunk out of the southeastern United States, and damage was done, but it was nothing like what we thought. Hurricane Oprah did take a chunk out of something though. If you haven't heard yet, Oprah has recently been dissed(!) majorly by high end retailer Hermes at a Parisian store. Stopping to shop with her best girlfriend Gayle (and without Stedman.) Oprah was turned away from the store when she attempted to shop there after it had closed. Poor France, they lose the Olympics and insult Oprah all in one week. Political Correctness demanded that Oprah be vindicated, Indian runners were sent out to find other black stars who were turned away from retailers simply because they were black. Hermes issued a statement saying they didn't turn Oprah away for any reason other than they were planning a public relations event and didn't have the ability to let her shop and continue their other happenings. P. Diddy (who?) issued a statement saying that whenever he shops he send his "people" ahead to make sure the store is closed so he can shop in peace without being followed by store detectives. I read all this online and all I could think was "Who the fuck do these idiots think they are?" We are totally forgetting the most important thing here.....THE STORE WAS CLOSED. End of story. I don't care who you are or what kind of dream you have but usually when retail stores close it's because they are done selling things for the day and you'll have to come back tomorrow. Now I understand, she's super rich, a big celebrity, blah blah blah....And I suppose I could make the joke that since Oprah felt she was being badly treated because she was black she could simply have done a smash and grab job and lived up to what she perceived they thought of her....But seriously...THIS is an international event? Oprahs girlfriend said that it was the "most humiliating moment" of Oprah's life. Though I dislike Rosie O'Donnell I think she said it best on her blog site...

Oprah was turned away at hermes in Paris
gayle said it was really really bad. She used really twice, she saw it - she was there.
"Oprah describes it as one of the most humiliating moments of her life

and who would know better than Gayle.
I cannot wait to hear all the details - one of the most humiliating moments of her life. Oprah, a poor overweight, sexually abused, troubled black female child from a broken home - that Oprah suffereded ONE of the most HUMILIATING moments of HER life at Hermes Paris..
hmmmmm.....

The corrections, for those familiar with Rosies blog, are mine.

So I totally agree with Rosie (god that leaves a bad taste in my mouth) but I couldn't help but add a David Sedaris line in there too...."Smelling a mile off like her uncles dick, she said he forced her but you can't force a whore and that's what she is, a whore!"

On to other topics.....I was happy recently to meet a very nice young man named Kevin from Connecticut. He was visiting New Orleans for a conference and I met him at the pub one night while working. We hung out, though the first two nights he had to leave early because he was, um, a little intoxicated.Why oh why do tourists try to drink with locals....I digress. Kevin's friend came in to spend a few days with him and the three of us ran around for a couple days. I took them to Angeli to eat, walked the moonwalk, saw the holocaust memorial on the river and even went to Ryan's Irish pub. We were there when the NBA finals came on and I made Kristina (the friend) stand up for the National Anthem. Kevin was allowed to sit since he is an Irish Emigrant. Post Jake he was the first person, okay the only person that I have hooked up with. We had a great time together and have talked on the phone and e-mail several times since he left. He has mentioned coming back to NO for a visit sometime soon, hopefully we will see each other again sometime in the next few months.

I am off to work. Will write more soon....MWAH!

Just a good old boys....Never opened a door.

As a child I loved the television show Dukes of Hazzard. I'm sure that I was supposed to be turned on by Daisy Duke, but the sight of Bo and Luke Duke sliding across the hood of the General Lee was enough to make me swoon...Okay so it didn't make me swoon, it was more like an unexplained attraction but that's not the point. The point is that now they have made a movie version with that grand dame of stupidity, Jessica Simpson, as Daisy Duke. In accordance with the tie-in promotion, Jessica recorded a song and video for the movie, for some reason they used "These boots are made for walking." The video shows the General Lee zooming in and sliding to a stop...The door opens and Jessica gets out...WAIT! THE DOOR OPENS???? The Door Opens? When did the doors to the General Lee open? They were welded shut, the boys had to climb in and out, taunting the audience with those oh-so-tight jeans. I suppose they had to let Jessica use the doors, there's no way she could climb that ass in and out of a welded shut door. I know some might say I'm being picky or that I just don't like Jessica and both thoughts would be right. Artistic license being what it is, I shouldn't pick on her big ass...So I'll pick on how stupid she looks during the video when she's walking through the Boars Nest with a tray of beers...Which are obviously GLUED onto the tray. Some Hollywood actors wait tables and other such jobs until they make it big...Since it seems obvious Jessica didn't do that, one can only wonder what she did to support herself in the early years.

On the same note, the pub has been playing a video of a USO show done in Germany. Nick Lachey and his bride joined Willie Nelson and the country duo Big & Rich for a send off to the troops. Germany is a point of return as well as origin, so there were troops coming and going in attendance in the show. They must have made the soldiers who were maimed, paralyzed and bruised stay in the back because all you saw were bright eyed happy young people, thrilled to be seeing such talent. Talent, yes I said talent. If I were an American soldier preparing to risk my life fighting a war no-one believes in anymore and the best the US could come up with for a fricking USO tour is Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson I would shoot myself in the foot, paint my toenails pink and begin affecting a serious lisp. In other words, I wouldn't go...Not after that send off...Dig up Bob Hopes corpse and set him in a chair, I would be more entertained.

Auntie Em! Uncle Henry!

So with Cindy behind us the city prepares for Dennis. I worked Tuesday night as Cindy came ashore, the rain pouring down. I have never seen so much of a blackout in the city. At first we heard news that parts of uptown had lost power, then the by-water, Metarie, the Garden District, but then we heard that the Marigny was out of power and we knew things were looking bad for the quarter. If the bar loses power we have battery back-up's for our registers but the soda guns and of course all the audio/video equipment would be gone. We ordered juices and sodas from the deli down the street (poor delivery man) and prepared for the worst. This was right about the time the eye of the storm came across the city and brought the winds and rain to a calm. Radar showed that the storm was turning west, which would have brought the east side of the storm (which is the side with all the rain) right over the city. It must have turned back because that was pretty much the worst of the storm for the quarter. With the configuration and type of buildings in the quarter, our location on the bend of the river and protection from the levy, the quarter receives a lot less abuse than other parts of the city. When I left work to walk home there was just an amazing amount of refuse on the streets. There were countless roofing tiles, trash cans and just things that had come out of people's courtyards and balconies. At the corner of Bourbon and Esplanade there was a large tree down, another on Barracks. I took some photos of the damage. Wednesday night I went uptown to see a show at Tulane. There were tons of branches and trees down, leaves and refuse everywhere, traffic lights out (which is scary when you're flying down St. Charles at night.) All this from a tropical storm and another one, a much larger one bearing down on us. Current tracking seems to show it hitting more in the Mobile/Pensacola area, the area destroyed by Ivan less than a year ago. I'm not convinced of that path so we are watching closely to decide what we'll do. If the city evacuates again there is one very unfortunate thing. It will once again put our Uncle Tom Mayor, Ray Nagin, in the national spotlight and the country can see what an idiot we elected. If I have to hear him remind people to hit cash machines and get some "Benjamins" again, I will evacuate and not come back. I didn't evacuate last year, instead I stayed put and ate my way through house and home...Maybe I better hit the store and stock up on oreos now, they have those new white chocolate ones...gotta run!

Coming Soon!

I know I owe several posts, so here is what is coming up in the next few days here at YankeeNexile.

• The remainder of my trip to NY....
• An encounter with New York Times Bestseller David Sedaris!
• Tropical Storm Cindy and the upcoming Dennis
• An Irishman, Oprah and some odds and ends.

Stay tuned for these and other stories...........