Late Night Thoughts...

Dear Gentle Reader: This post if not one of my amusing bon-mot filled attacks on humankind, simply some late night thoughts...More soon.

Laying in bed, unable to sleep, I was thinking about my friend David in New York. He's stopped speaking to me, upset at my negligence with our friendship. The last time I saw him was in June of last year when I visited New York with friends. I stayed on a few extra days at Davids house and we had a blast hanging out together. The storm, the evacuation, the four months in Indiana and a heart attack have taken up quite a bit of my time. In reality though I have no excuse for myself. You see, David would call me and those that know me know I rarely answer my phone. I have a continuous debate with my friend Scott over this very issue. He berates me for my attitude, which is simply that the phone is for my convenience, not to be served as a tracking device so that people can reach me whenever they desire. Incidentally, does anyone else find that OnStar thing creepy? I'll risk the locking of my keys in the car in exchange for the government not being able to track me down at a moments notice. I digress...I am often not in the mood to talk on the phone, and thus I don't answer. My friend David would leave me messages and I, rudely, would often not return the call. It's not that I don't enjoy talking to him, I adore talking to him. He's one of the most invigorating people I know, full of more energy than I've ever possessed, incredibly smart and just a hell of a conversationalist. The only issue I ever had about talking to him on the phone is that we would talk forever, an hour or two at times. It's a strange thing but sometimes when I haven't talked to someone for a while I hesitate in calling them, simply because it's been so long. That's probably very stupid, but it makes sense in my head. I talked to David after the storm while I was in Baton Rouge and then only a few times while I was evacuated in Indianapolis. When I switched my phone back to a New Orleans number I sent out various text and e-mails to folks advising them of the change and I received a rather terse text from David, "Who is this?" We had a few quick exchanges and then finally "All this communication is too much for me, try me again next year." Though I sent a few replies, it was silent on his end. I haven't tried to call him, I think I am afraid that he won't want to talk to me. It seems I have lost a friendship due to my inability to return phone calls, but it's really much more involved. I shut myself away from people a lot. I am a loner by nature, a trait I share with my mother and sister. I sink into depressions that last a few days, a few months. Usually I don't even know it's happening until I realize it's been a week since I've left the house to do anything other than walk the dogs or work. E-mails go unanswered, voice mails pile up. Eventually I snap out of it and am happy go lucky for a while, I am social, I make plans, I answer the phone but sometimes the damage is done. In the time it's taken me to write this I could have called David (who is probably still awake, I'm convinced he doesn't sleep) and apologized. Maybe tomorrow, I'm tired now and one has to keep their wits about them to keep up with David. Enough emoting for me for one late night...ciao!