And We're Off...

There is a lot of ground to cover, so I should just plunge right ahead.

I am sitting here in my living room at the moment, Lifetime television in the background and two sleeping dogs probably having taken over my entire bed. 900 miles away in Indiana my fathers family is gathered in a waiting room of a hospital. They have been there since early this morning when my father went in for surgery. In early January, days after I returned to New Orleans, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. A biopsy followed and the determination was made to remove a portion of his lung. It has taken time to get a surgery date as they have to get his medications under control. In November he had a heart attack, his second, and had two stents with his catheterization (compared to my measly one.) The doctors put him on blood thinners which he had to stop taking to have this surgery. There has been concern about the scar tissue left from his open heart surger back in '98 or the possibility of another heart attack or a stroke. He already had a stroke a little over a year ago. He's mostly recovered though if he tries to speak too quickly he fumbles over the words. This was the case this morning at 4:30 when I called him before he headed off to the hospital. Both of us seemed to be fumbling for words without either of us saying that this could be the last talk we would have. I was still at work and my maudlin mood shifted quickly when I went back inside. Security was removing a very belligerent tourist and so I had to jump to and get the doors ahead of them open so the pack of them could herald the man outside. A cop showed up pretty directly and handcuffed the man, digging through his pockets and finding several little plastic baggies containing a white powder in a leather pouch. Life in New Orleans...

My sister just phoned to tell me that my father has made it through is surgery. Right now he is in recovery and will hopefully soon transfered to ICU to begin his recuperation. I plan to travel to Indy next week to visit him and the rest of my family and friends. My nerves are not yet soothed, my father has a long recovery road ahead of him.

The best way I can think of to take my mind off things is to talk about inane subjects and I have a few to cover...

MARDI GRAS

Mardi Gras has come and passed. It was a very local holiday, the tourists unable to find hotel rooms. Our federal occupation continues and FEMA held their hotel rooms until March 1st, giving their employees a free holiday on the taxpayers. I walked the quarter from Esplanade to Canal (my yearly tradition) and not one time was I forced to stop because the crowd was too thick. Parking was a nightmare, cars on the neutral ground and the sidewalks. The quarter was busy at night but not as much as usual. People weren't really drinking that much.

One thing about New Orleans that's different than most places is that you have to be more responsible for yourself. Bars don't close and getting another drink is rarely difficult. Knowing all of that you have to imagine how drunk one would have to be for me to cut them off during a holiday. Only one person achieved that status during Mardi Gras. I cut him off and his response was to drop his pants. I thought for a moment that he was going to pinch a loaf standing there, he had that face, you know, tightly closed eyes, straining neck, veins in the forehead. I cannot imagine what my response would have been. I once dragged a person down a flight of stairs for pissing on the side of my bar, so taking a dump would probably get you killed. Like most drunks he didn't understand that he was not going to be served and repeatedly asked me for another beer. Finally I told his friends they could take him out of the bar or I was going to remove him with the help of a police officer. They wisely took him home, thus saving his life. On the note of people needing to be arrested, I had three separate friends tell me that they were either detained or arrested by the police during the holiday. They were all let go pretty quickly, allowed to bail themselves out or released on their own. Normally when you are arrested during a holiday you have to stay until the courts resume which is sometime on Thursday afternoon. I haven't seen the number but I will bet that arrests were down this year.

A NUMBER ONE, KING OF THE HILL

So I think everyone has a mental list of things about potential mates that are unacceptable. For example, non-smokers often won't date smokers, general things along those lines. My list is more specific. High on the list is flip flops, something I have railed against in these pages before. Recently I have been tested on this one. There is a boy, a beautiful boy named Ben who I think is so hot and he wears flip flops. Always. I've never seen him in shoes. Though I still think it's disgusting I try to put it out of my head that he is wearing them. Another of my biggies is lip gloss. Now chapstick, carmX, that sort of thing I have no problem with. Lips get dry, they need nourishment. What I can't take is lip gloss, especially when it's put on with a wand. I have a general dislike of seeing people put on make-up. A woman who puts on lipstick or powder while sitting at a restaurant makes me cringe. If you're going to go that far you might as well kick off a heel and give yourself a pedicure right there in between salads and entrees.

At the top of this list however are fans and flags. The fans are part of a larger dislike; the type of people who carry fans. These are also often the same people who would wear lip gloss that you put on with a wand. I can't stand the fan crap. I don't know if it's the noise they make when they snap or how absolutely ridiculous people look walking around with them. More than once I have taken fans away from stupid little boys and either thrown them away, broken them or simply kept them until the person left. Flags are another one and I don't think I really have to say much about them. Outside of circuit parties there are no normal people who carry around flags to spin them on dance floors. Thank god.

I have rambled on enough here, a few more quick notes. I was very sad to see Dolly lose her Oscar. She lost for "9 to 5" as well. Losing to a song from Hustle and Flow was a double whammy. I guess Dolly should call Randy Newman to see how he's coped all these years.

If you are a fifty something man I think prefacing every sentence with "dude" is a bit much. This is especially true when you also include the word "Yo". "Yo, Dude, Knock It Off."

Enough bitter rambling for one day...ciao for now!