Perhaps to a 5K Run benefiting PETA?

Last Friday I worked happy hour, a rarity indeed. It wasn't very busy but I was working with Matt and we had a lot of fun. The two bartenders in the front had customers and eventually Matt and I decided that all the customers hated one of the two of us and so they were just steering clear of the whole area. Three young black men came in early in the afternoon. One of them looked familiar and eventually he told me that he used to work at the bar and then I remembered him. He's young, tall, skinny and VERY VERY queeny. If memory serves he was fired, but I can't remember if he quit prior to being fired or what, regardless he did not part on good terms. On his way out he threw a royal fit and tried to "read" our general manager. Now whatever anyone may think of him, this is not a man who is going to take being yelled at by some snippy little queen who just lost what has to be one of the easiest jobs in the world. All the kid had to do was sit behind a counter and sell breath mints and chips and occasionally answer the phone. Like many of the people before and after him he used his time at work to put on his own personal drag show to every song that was played. I find it maddening to try to go through this area or god forbid buy some mints) and have to shuffle through what appears to be the ill-fated front line from the ill-fated movie version of "A Chorus Line." Anyway, he and his two friends (both of whom were very nice) are getting ready to leave and discussing clothes. The queeny boy must have gotten a burst of estrogen (picture The Lady Chablis in "Midnite in the Garden of Good and Evil") because he hit a full tilt boogie queen-out as he described the outfit which would he would be gracing us with that night. If you feel like reading this to yourself in a voice much like Oprah used in the film "The Color Purple," please be my guest..."All my life I had to fight, I had to fight my daddy, I had to.."

Queen: "I'm gonna look so good tonight, I'm wearing my fur..."

Me: "Isn't it too hot for fur?"

Queen: "Nuh Un, no ma'am, you see it's not all fur, it's a track suit with a
chinchilla collar."

Me: mouth agape, unable to say anything...

I perched on the edge of the bar in utter dismay as he wound through the details of this outfit, down to the shoes he planned to wear with it and the exact cost of how much everything cost. Evidently he didn't get the props he was searching for as he then went on to tell us the cost of everything he had on and was well into the cost of his entire wardrobe when he stopped to pull me aside and tell me that one of the boys with him was his boyfriend and that the boy beats him but he doesn't mind because he knows he loves him and he knows he loves him because the first night they ever went out that boy spent money on him. Now I know you'll pardon my extreme run on sentence but that was precisely how it was said to me, rapid fire machine gun admissions of domestic abuse. I must have seemed horrified so to make up for it he told me he didn't need this boys money as his father owned VooDoo, a local gay bar. He gave me a few snaps up for measure and was gone. Before he left I begged him to come back in and show me his outfit, all the while wondering if the camera on my phone would suffice or if I needed to go home and get the digital camera. He promised that he would come back but I didn't put too much stock into it and I was right, I didn't see him again. I wish I had, the idea of a chinchilla collared track suit on a nelly drunk beaten up silver spooned black boy would have kept this blog going for a good long while.

Incidentally, when I saw the person who really does own VooDoo last night I was happy to give him my congratulations on having sold his establishment. He's used to these kind of rumors (you have no idea how many people, including employees, claim to own the pub) and we shared a good laugh.

On a completely different note, I have been watching "Nashville Star" while I was writing this and I have to wonder who does the make-up for Wynonna? She had that big come back kind of thing last year with her crying fit Oprah appearance and singing "I wanna know what love is" and now she's on the USA network, bigger than ever and I swear I saw blue eye shadow.

It's down to the last two contestants, one a cowboy hat wearing traditional voiced singer and the other one is bug eyed and looks like he's a bit touched...

Oh, thank god, the boy with regular eyes won.