Words to sleep by....

Sanctuary

by Dorothy Parker

My land is bare of chattering folk;
The clouds are low along the ridges,
And sweet's the air with curly smoke
From all my burning bridges

Though I hate her, I had to watch

It seems that so many of these entries are about television, who knew I watched so much TV. I thought I only watched the "Golden Girls" and "Law and Order." Yesterday I watched Oprah. I really don't like Oprah, I think she's pandering and ridiculous. Once, years ago, I saw her do a show on table manners. At the time Oprah owned at least one restaurant. Playing dumb to her guest she exclaimed, "I don't know nothin' 'bout table manners!" I screamed "UNCLE TOM" and turned her off, vowing never to watch again. Yesterday, though, was special. Bill Clinton was on to hawk his new book, My Life. I bought the book today and will be reporting on it as I read. At 950 some pages, this might take a little while, even as fast as I read.

I know a lot of people didn't like Clinton and I can't say I agreed with all of his policies and decisions. I voted for him twice and I did so proudly. Like him or not you can't help but admit that he was a very charismatic fellow and that continued with his appearance on Oprah. I think I was mostly touched by how human he came across, how he took responsibility for his actions and made sense of the ridiculousness of his persecution. In talking about the time period surrounding his affair with Monica Lewinsky he pointed out that he was bombing Afghanistan, dealing with more lawsuits than any president in history (side note, and was never found to have done a single thing wrong despite the 70 million dollars spent by Ken Starr) and sleeping on the couch because his wife had thrown him out of the marital bed. Now, Clinton lied, to the grand jury, to his wife, to his daughter and to the American people. He lied about his affair and he lied about how he tried to not get caught. My question, then and now, is this; Why was he ever even asked about his affair? Whose business is it if he's having an affair except he and his wife? Bush managed to poo-poo a cocaine arrest, but Clinton gets a couple blowjobs and he needs to be run out of office? Please.

I didn't start writing this to defend Clinton. It was amazing to me to see our former President on television saying things that he was unable to say as President, being so human and taking responsibility for his actions. I think it meant so much to me (and I don't mind admitting to a few tears) because he offered so much to those of us who felt unwanted and untended to by the previous administrations, but also because of the lack of human ability of our current (gasp) leader.

Before you ask, yes I read "Living History," Hillary's book and I loved it as well, especially the portions where she spent massive amounts of her time furthering the rights of woman around the world.

Just one more time....

I know I use the word "seriously" a great deal, but seriously, if one more straight woman sitting at my bar says "You know who you remind me of? Jack from Will and Grace!" Some of these people are very nice but my animated ways pre-date NBC finally realizing gays were marketable. I'm sorry that their view of the world is 27 inches and built on stereotypes, but it certainly does explain the popularity of the film "Jerry Maguire."

I don't mean to be so nasty, but I just finished working my first graveyard shift ( 5 am to 1 pm ) and I'm understandably a little cranky.

adieu!

Queer as Folk, Dumb Ass Folk and of course, Menfolk

Before I begin this entries diatribe, let me post my schedule for my upcoming vacation. Since there are several people at my work who are going on vacations this time of year, the rest of us have to pitch in and cover their shifts. That being said, I am working graveyard shifts this Tuesday and Friday mornings. That's 5 am to 1 pm for those of ya not in the know about such things. If you are out and about during those hours (or for most of the readers here, if you are still out) make sure you drop by, say hello, buy a drink and tip big, momma's going out of town. I will also be working my normal Thursday and Friday nights....I am then leaving town on Sunday the 26th and will not return until Saturday, July 10th. I will be spending some time camping in Michigan and visiting with family, as well as going to Paramounts Kings Island in Ohio. It's like I'm going backpacking through Europe without leaving the Midwest.

Onward and Upward...well...Onward anyway.

Let me first say that I wouldn't watch it if I weren't trapped behind a bar. I wouldn't have the opportunity since I don't have showtime. Alas, every other Tuesday when I am at work (see how I slipped that in) I am witness to Queer as Folk. Among the myriad of problems with this show is that they have different writers all the time so there is a definite lack of continuity. I also understand that GLAAD, the extortionist pirates, has some input into the show.



Before anyone contacts GLAAD and has me strung up or brought up on libel, let me make a statement. There have been instances where GLAAD has been invited to preview films and then asked that things be cut out as they are offensive to our minority. In one instance, the film "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back", their requests were denied. GLAAD then asked that the films producers donate a large sum of money to their coffers or they would be forced to call a picket of the film and it's distribution company and so on and so forth. This is why I call them extortionist pirates and it is strictly my opinion and if they want to sue me, fine, get blood from a turnip.

I think this follows suit with most gay groups or with any group representing a particular minority. It's much easier for the christian right, they all fall under the banner of Hate. The only difference is in WHO they hate at the time; the Blacks, the Jews, the Queers, the Democrats. Minority representation is a lot trickier because then you have the inevitable task of how to best represent the largest percentage of those people, most of whom have no idea what the hell you are talking about. These groups are always hijacked eventually by the constant group of people who want to be the Rosa Parks of the gay community, the heroine (note the E)who saves us from doom. Blech! Though I dislike most of these groups, HRC is at least doing a fairly good job of representation without overstepping their bounds and without demanding that the world drop to their knees and apologize for every slight that ever happened.

Seriously, if this country every begins to pay reparations for slavery, I'm getting the hell out of dodge.

Back to Queer as Folk. I will admit that over the years I have fallen for a number of bad television shows. I was a huge Melrose Place fan, not to mention the years I spent watching Dallas. As bad as it is, I do find myself falling prey to the endless parade of nearly naked boys, sex filled backroom action (I won't get into the whole argument of how badly this represents the gay community and my intense hatred of "the circuit" in general) and of course the requisite backside shots of Justin and Brian. The story lines are usually pedestrian and one dimensional, like the characters. Sex seems to be THE redeeming quality. It's almost like straight porn, there is the requisite lesbian scene, and could the lesbian characters be any less developed? Seriously. I still watch, which I suppose makes me a hypocrite, but one fully sated with trashy dialogue, booty shots and transparent plot lines. Incidentally, has anyone ever been to Pittsburgh, the setting for this tragicomedy? I guarantee there is no Babylonesque club there (I know, it's filmed in Toronto). One last brief side note here, thank god for this show for one reason. Sharon Gless is back on television. The spunky single from Cagney and Lacy (one of the best shows of the 80's) is a fun actress and actually brings something positive to the show. Her character is built to be the PFLAG super mom, which I think would be annoying without her Friday flair vest and raspy Bea Arthur voice so I'm happy to see her in a new role. ENOUGH!!!!

On to Dumb Ass Folk....Does anyone watch Jeopardy? The guy who is the champ has won 14 days in a row, accumulating over 450,000 dollars. Wouldn't you hate to be friends with this guy? I mean, aside from the money, who wants to be friends with Cliff Clavin.

ahh the Menfolk, my final topic in this already too long entry. Love or Lust or somewhere in between has been in full bloom this spring here in New Orleans. My commentary (like my love and lust) will be brief;

When you have to I.D. someone before you take them home and there are still questions about their true age, well, you might want to move on to the next possibility. I know this sounds like sanctimonious advice coming from me, but perhaps age has granted me some wisdom (personal note here, shut up John F in Indy).

Seriously, and this should be basic, but obviously it bears repeating; Friends don't try to fuck their friends dates/boyfriends/lovers...Not only is it extremely and endlessly tacky, it's rude and it makes you look like a real ass. Why trust a friend who is willing to risk your friendship for a trick.

I think that's it for now, I'm off to bowl! Wish me Luck!

I really should read the local paper...

My friends who work for the local newspaper, the Times-Picayune, often tell me that it is the most successful newspaper in "penetration". While this phrase has often concerned me for a number of reasons, I must start reading it a little more often. Had I read it yesterday before work I would have been a little more prepared for what the evening would become. Surely they published a story, an evacuation warning or something that made every low-rent, mouth breathing piece of trash from the outlying areas come into town, like they were on the egg money. The best word to describe the bar last night was SKETCHY. We have a meteorological convention in town right now, one would think they would have given me some super Doppler warning of flying trash.

I'm off to the supermarket to buy supplies for the funeral party later this afternoon. Ciao!

Deep Thoughts From Blaine

Written on a napkin for submision to my blog, Deep Thoughts by Blaine:

Next time when life seems to be treating you like the regurgitated crystal burger tossed aside into a pool of urine on the corner of Burgundy and St. Louis by the whimsical frayed fingers of the friendly street cleaner, REMEMBER, your dismay is no ones fault but your OWN, for if there are no expectations then there will be no disappointments.

A Final Farewell

Okay, so now that it's all said (and said and said and said) and done I can make my final (I promise) Reagan death entry.

Of course, there is still my funeral party tomorrow. I taped one of the funerals and will be playing it for entertainment.

Onwards we go! I do have a few issues to cover.

I understand that every president is entitled to a State Funeral. The last full State Funeral was for Eisenhower and Johnson before that. Nixon did not have a Washington funeral, but did have a ceremony in California. My question is, who pays for this and how much does it cost. In these days of the Bush controlled media there has been little discussion about such things. CNN.com did put out ONE story out on the Wednesday before the end of the week wrap up funeral on Friday. Putting aside the estimated 2.3 million for the cost of extra security and paying the military involved, I'm sure there are many other extras that weren't mentioned. How much did it cost to fly that presidential plane across the country 4 times to haul the body to and fro? How much do those 21 gun salute howitzer shells cost apiece? Who takes care of all the diplomatic Corp? Let's not forget the closing of the ENTIRE federal government at an estimated cost of 450 MILLION dollars. I thought flowers for funerals were expensive.

As for the funeral itself, Margaret Thatcher looked fabulous. I did find it odd that she was seated next to Mikhail Gorbachev, considering that her eulogy was particularly harsh where he was concerned. She did look frail, often on the arm of an escort, but her will still iron-clad, she spoke eloquently.

Over the last week of two, okay over the last 20 years we have been completely flooded with the love story of Ronnie and Nancy. We have seen Nancy hold her head high this last week or so, keeping to the time-table set out and revised over the years. I despised the Reagans when they were in office, Nancy included. This week I have softened on her, not because of some mis-placed sympathy that her husband wasn't a first class bastard, but a human compassion. 83 year old Nancy lost her husband and for that she deserves some sympathy. I actually felt sorry for her at the private family funeral. The video shows her breaking down surrounded by her children and all you hear is the click of cameras. I just thought that was a shame. I won't and can't forget the terrible things done by his administration, but forgiveness for Nancy, well I can take a step in that direction. Now, back to the love story. During the funeral we heard that all Ronnie needed was the love of his wife to keep him going. What does that say about his children? His daughter Patti was very outspoken about this issue and was often at odds with her parents. I suppose it's understandable. Does anyone remember that Ronnie was married once before? She has been silent these many years about her ex husband but did release a small statement after his death. Ronnie had three children with that marriage, one of whom died shortly after birth. His daughter Maureen died a few years ago.

it's all over now, the bitterness of the Reagan years will die too, eventually. Nancy has come out against Bush's anti stem-cell research program, a devastating blow to his campaign I'm sure. All the spirit of Eleanor Roosevelt (when she's not talking to Hillary Clinton)as the fiery widow takes her sorrow filled case to the American people.

I see in recent polls that Bush is losing in almost all of them to Kerry. Thank god the tide seems to be shifting. Perhaps the shadow of stupidity that has hung over this country since the Warren commission will lift.

That's it for now, I am off to work.

Break out your White Trash Flip Flops!

My excitement is overwhelming.

In spite of everything, could she buy a brush?

Okay, I know this is petty in spite of everything else, but can Patti Davis do SOMETHING with her hair?

I knew I was right all along

Since moving to New Orleans in the winter of 2000 I have been told a lie by many of her residents. Today I stand triumphant.

Palmetto Bugs ARE Cockroaches!

Oh what a day....

Despite yesterdays debacle of television, I decided to turn on my television again today. I was waiting patiently for Jeopardy! to begin, so I had to endure "Inside Edition." Logging on at the same time I learned of the unfortunate death of Ray Charles. He overcame the difficulties of blindness, battled back from a heroin addiction and became a music legend. In other entertainment news, poor Britney Spears has blown a knee and undergone surgery. Maybe she will have her breasts re-done while she's there. Isn't she on her third or fourth set of them now?


I was just about to go to bed last night when I realized that my car had to be moved before I was towed Thursday morning. There were fire trucks out front, someones shed had caught on fire, but nothing major and no-one was hurt. While looking for a place to park (never an easy thing so late on a street cleaning day)I was tuned in to the country music station, WNOE. I am a total country fan and I can listen to the most insipid of songs with a smile on my face. Occasionally there is a song that steps over that line and makes me cringe and hide my cowboy hat in the closet. Such is the case with the new Joe Diffie song "Tougher Than Nails". Of course we're talking about Jesus here, and it's just more than I can take...guess I'm not tougher than nails.

Confusion about Camelot

I swore to myself that I would resist. Previous experience had taught me that it would end badly. "No good will come of this," a phrase that friends and I employ often was bandied about in my head. I knew I should not watch television. When I logged on to check e-mail today I was hit broadside with the news. "Washington begins state funeral." "Reagan lies in state in Capital Rotunda." S immediately called and urged me to turn on the funeral procession for comic value. There were several moments that were good for a chuckle, the down to the minute timing (7:22 pm, First lady removes glasses, single tear falls as she touches head of coffin.) The coffin supposedly weighed near 700 pounds. Reagans body could not possibly weigh more than 150 so WHAT WAS IN THERE? My guess is the evidence of his war crimes, but of course I could be wrong. The coffin was so heavy that the guard carrying it had to be changed halfway up the 183 steps of the capital building. Former first lady Nancy Reagan had to approve this 30 second delay in time. When they finally reached the rotunda I should have turned it off immediately. I was doing laundry and not paying much attention until I noticed Ted Kennedy speaking. What? What was Ted Kennedy doing there, extoling the virtues of Ronald Reagan? I turned it off and went for a walk (okay I went to the store to buy cigarettes and razor blades in case I couldn't take any more.)

Why is so much compassion being shown to a person who showed so little to so many people. This man created new levels of class division, slashed the budgets of every social program while spending billions on defense contracts. Trickle down economics made the rich richer and created levels of poverty not seen since the depression. AIDS killed Americans and he stood by silently arm in arm with Cardinal John O'Conner and the rest of the religious right. The AIDS epidemic is the legacy of Ronald Reagan. He did NOT put an end to communism, he did NOT rescue the hostages from Iran.

There are a few good articles out there not being carried by the regular press. Information Clearing House has a great article with links to a few others.

Larry Kramer is publishing an article in the Advocate in a few weeks entitled "Adolf Reagan". I can't wait to read that.

A day off

Today was my first day off after a five day work week. It's been years since I have worked anything resembling a normal schedule. Luckily I only have to work four days a week now, save holidays. I suppose that work wouldn't be so draining if I stopped draining those shot bottles.