I wish I had my own newspaper...

If I had my own newspaper I could spend time exploring some hard hitting issues. A hearty discussion would certainly come out of a recent dilemma of mine. There were two boys at the bar making out feverishly, one I know and the other a tourist. The tourist was "backin' that ass up" against the boy I know, I mean really grinding into him. Now I was told by someone else that the New Orleans boy was a jackrabbit pushy bottom, but he was certainly doing an impression of a top this night. The problem was this; should I tell the tourist, who was obviously looking to be topped, that he was going to be sadly disappointed when he took down this boys pants. Now I haven't seen the boy naked but I take it from a good source that he gives new meaning to the phrase "micro-cock." Now I am mostly kidding, I would never tell someone that they were about to go home with someone that was hung like a fifth grader, but the thought of it was amusing...

Now a serious issue. I think this one really does need to be investigated. Beyonce; pop diva or GPS tracking device for every tragic black tranny hooker in a twenty block radius? Seriously. Picture it, it's around 2AM and the VJ is trying to pick the crowd back up, he puts on a Beyonce song and suddenly the doorways fill with big hair and enough hormone created tits to fill up the superdome after a major hurricane. I know it must seem that I pick on tragic black tranny hookers a lot here on this page, but they really bug me. There are several girls who come in the bar who are beautiful, well mannered, good tippers, but they are by FAR the minority. The one thing I do wonder is how they don't have back problems. Most of the ones I see do this back arching bit. It's an old trick of strippers, "tits out, box in, sell! sell! sell!" Their tits (real or otherwise) are jutted out while they simultaneously push their ass out to make it look bigger. I would think your back would hurt from doing this but hell, shoving a size 12 foot into a size 6 sling-back probably doesn't feel good either.

I'm not going to write too much today, just getting back into the swing of things. Recently I have been seeing this commercial for Lysol. They say that other brands don't kill off virus that cause illness. One of those virus is the rotovirus which I kept mis-hearing and thinking they were saying rhodavirus. Rotovirus may cause diarrhea but the Rhodavirus is much worse. It's the sick feeling you get in your stomach when you realize that you will never be the Mary, you'll always be the Rhoda.